Archive for 2008
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
My book, never go trekking … and other stories, was reviewed in the Sunday Times (South Africa) today and people keep asking me what it feels like. I tell them I can’t answer that because I now can’t remember what it felt like before I was reviewed in the Sunday Times. I suppose for the purposes of this blog I would have to equate the feeling to motherhood.
What I can do is share the review by Paul Ash:
“If you really want to know what it’s like to trek the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal, ride Chinese trains, find a cheap hotel in Varanasi or survive 101 backpacker afflictions, then read this traveller’s diary of a seven- month journey across India, China and Southeast Asia. The best way of finding out what lies on the road ahead is to ask someone who’s been there — first- hand information trumps a travel guide any day. Van Maasdyk’s diary is more than just a one-woman treatise on how to forsake the pleasures of silk, Prada and — at times — running water, and travel lightly; she’s also a funny raconteur. Available from www.justdone.co.za”
More available at: thetimes.co.za
Go buy the book.
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Tags: Paul Ash, raconteur, Sunday Times, travel guide
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Friday, October 31st, 2008
When Annie Leonard (www.storyofstuff.com) looked in the mirror a couple of decades ago, maybe the current Annie Leonard was the furthest thing from her imagination … or wildest dreams. Perhaps she cursed her reflection because she failed an exam or a job interview or didn’t make the grade to compete in the Olympics. I am not saying any of these things happened … but they might have. They might have happened to set her up to a challenge that she had no idea she would have to face, back then. And here she is, trying to save the world by standing on a soapbox (one made of 100% recycled material of course). The Story of Stuff is also a story about how stuff happens … and we’ve all been there.
If Al Gore had become president, he might have been too wrapped up to investigate and discuss climate change – global awareness was key to launching his ideas. I don’t mean to frighten anyone or set anyone up to fail by making them think they have to be that huge to be noticed or recognised as achieving … but, perhaps when things don’t go exactly according to plan, it’s because there is another plan that’s just out of the picture right now and you just need to pan around a bit to find it. There are different paths and we all have to find our own. Flexibility is something that is shut down in most of us because it allows freedom of spirit and in this day and age that is considered a dangerous quality as it means you will be unable to conform …
We’re so trapped by society that even if we know what the problems are, we get stuck anyway.
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Tags: 100% recycled material, Al Gore, Annie Leonard, climate change, dreams, environment, imagination, recycled, soapbox, The Story of Stuff
Posted in best reads, bhalababy | 1 Comment »
Thursday, October 30th, 2008
So, where did it all start – my crazed-bear obsession with the environment? Well, it started slow – terry cloth nappies, solar powered boiler, gas heaters, wood fires (using wood from alien trees), recycling … and then I was sent a web address: www.storyofstuff.com and I fell head over heels in total ‘fatal-attraction’ love with the whole concept of sustainable living.
Everyone should watch Annie Leonard’s mini movie and look at her tips to find another way to exist on this finite planet. Sure, it’s hard to be a total convert, but we all have to start somewhere. Dieters who start their diets on Monday can continue to do so as long as their attitude to the environment doesn’t also spell procrastination. Everyone has to start today to do his or her bit and no one is going to mind if it’s just a small bit … as long as it’s something.
To give you a kick in the right direction, try Wiser earth to get involved with the greater good. And speaking of the greater good, have a look at Greater Good. There is a South African equivalent which has less to do with the environment and more to do with … well … the greater good:
Enjoy the march. Besides anything else, marching beats dieting.
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Tags: alien wood, environment, gas, recycling, solar power, sustainable, terry cloth nappies
Posted in best reads, bhalababy | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
From the moment my child could talk, he could express himself in a way that it would seem he had been practicing in total silence since birth. The first time he expressed any interest in colour, he declared immediately that his favourite colour was green. Of course this was just an impulse … which has stuck for over a year now … but as a mother full of hopes and dreams for both her child, his future and, therefore for the future of our planet, it sparked a series of impulses in my own brain which, deep down, translate into visions of my child becoming an environmentalist of sorts. There is a part of me that visualises him handcuffed to a tree in a forest that is being chopped down even faster than we are slowly getting way too accustomed to, or missioning off an another escapade for Green Peace. And that would also be fine – not everyone needs a career … there are some people who need only a calling, and these people seem to be the ones who make a bigger difference in life.
But this is the week for sharing web links so I will focus in on a South African green (and gold), one of the champions of the planet. She’s not a banker, a broker, an economist or a tout for driving the economy while tens of millions starve. She is a new kid on the block starting out with huge heart and soul to change our mindsets to convert our offices, gardens and even the film industry to eco. Her website is www.greenshift.com and it has all her details if you want help making your future sustainable. By supporting her, you too become one of the pioneers.
After all, our kids are our future so we have a responsibility to ensure they get one.
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Tags: eco friendly, environment, Green Peace, hopes and dreams, sustainable
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Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
Then there are a couple of websites that are not remotely funny:
http://www.safemilk.org/
http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/
http://www.notjustaprettyface.org/
The long and short is that even when we are doing our best – breastfeeding, buying best quality products and using what are advertised as baby-safe products – we are poisoning our children from day one. Our breast milk is toxic because of all the toxins we unwittingly put into our own bodies; the bottles we then use, once the breast milk has dried up, are made of plastics that leach chemicals into the formula milk; and the wonderful top-quality baby products seem to be a marketing scam as they too are hazardous to both baby and the environment. You just have to do a search on the cosmetics database (see above) to see that even kid’s toothpastes are more hazardous than the adult variety. And it seems that the harmful effect of the sun on our children’s skin is way less when weighed up against the toxins that are put into the sun creams we slather all over our children’s faces and bodies before we let them out of the house.
A woman once told me that if I use a certain brand of shampoo, I should only use the same brand conditioner as they have been specifically designed to work together. This might have been something she learned at beauty school or just plain common sense, but the implications are only now becoming clear. If you use two different brands and each brand has a toxic chemical in it, there is no telling how those chemicals will react together. Scary stuff, huh?
Call me paranoid, but I’m beginning to feel surrounded by poisons. I even read about a court case lodged by an employee at L’Oreal accusing the brand of using carcinogenic chemicals in products they slap that pink ribbon on. They almost got away with it too!
I revert to an earlier post where I wrote about massaging my baby with organic sesame oil from head to toe for the first months of his life instead of bathing him and exposing him to harsh bath products. I didn’t know it then, but my maternal instinct (the one I thought had totally escaped me) was already seeping into me. I use an organic product on his skin and I use the same brand of household cleaners to avoid the chemicals in the home, which find their way into our bodies. The product name is Enchantrix – it is a South African product but there is an equivalent in Europe called Ecover. There are good products out there but you have to be vigilant and not accept what you’re told until you do the research. Just when we thought the tough part was over … we need to work harder. We just do.
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Tags: breast milk is toxic, environment, formula milk, hazardous, poisons
Posted in bhalababy | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 27th, 2008
I have an urge to share some websites with you – websites that are both scary and funny (in a scary kind of way). We blindly do our best each day, caught in a buzz of consumerism and social lust and we rarely stop to consider the consequences of our actions.
With Halloween just around the corner, the first link to post would have to be the one that claims: A green Halloween is very eek-o chic.
Look at … and read (obviously) the article in the Seattle Times. It’s full of handy tips to reduce your ghoulish impact on the environment.
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Tags: eco friendly, environment
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Friday, October 24th, 2008
I look at his painting, which captures a favourite theme of mine – an open window looking outward at a scene – the structured geometric interior starkly contrasted with the flowing freedom of the yacht on the ocean. It sums it up for me: it is me. My bio should read: Penelope van Maasdyk is a structured human force, always organised yet constantly gazing at the horizon, seeking freedom.
Before I was married – ‘When God was a child’, a friend of mine would quip – and, therefore, before the baby; who stoked the insanity that created this blog; was even a tick on my biological clock, I bought this painting. It has followed me from Observatory to Chiswick to Barnes to Vredehoek to Hout Bay where it is the first thing I see each morning and the last thing I see at night: it hangs on a patch of pink I painted on my bedroom wall for it.
The artist, Wenkidu, sold it to me at cut price; much to the furious mutterings of his no doubt more financially savvy wife; and I am so grateful to him that, each time I look at his artwork, I imagine that he has made it big and is living it large on the islands.
I am beginning only now to realise why he did it … practically gave his art to me. He wanted to know that his art was out there rather than stacked against his studio wall imploding on its own creative energy. He wanted to release it and know that it was being admired, appreciated … and, even if hated, having an impact on the universe.
And this is a lesson on how we all should be. The world only learns from those who are willing to put themselves and their stuff ‘out there’. Sure, you’re likely to get the crap kicked out of your ego every once in a while … but that’s the price of ego, I suppose.
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Tags: ambition, Artist, Ego, Karma, Painter, Painting, Sailing, Wenkidu, yacht
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Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
Just when you think you have the motherhood thing waxed – and you can’t remember when you lasted chanted ‘this too will pass’ while your child wailed in his time-out corner of the bathroom – another challenge rears its head and dares you to become complacent.
The school concert!
My child, when asked what he would like to be in the school concert, has chosen to be a teapot. This would be fine – he, after all, knows the little teapot song and dance – if it weren’t for the (for me) massive hurdle preparing a convincing costume for his act.
Bring on drug counselling and sex education … they’ve got to be easier than this.
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Tags: drug counselling, parenting, school concert, sex education
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Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008
Possibly the two most important things I have taught my son: the one is that he has every right to stand up to me when I am angry with him and he feels he is being judged unfairly and the other is that no matter how angry I get with him that I still think he is the most awesome human being and I love him more than anything.
He gives me a hug and a kiss and asks me if I am happy. This is after telling me not to shout and reassuring me that he knows that I love him even though I am cross.
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Tags: balance, children, love, parenting, respect
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Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
I have taken on the task of writing something for Blog Action Day on poverty. The more I consider this, the more difficult the task seems … this is, after all, a baby blog about a child who knows nothing yet about the concept of poverty.
Or does he?
As I sit here in my grand home letting the cleaner clean and the gardener garden, I am more than aware that my small attempts to alleviate poverty are nothing of the sort. But an attempt is an attempt and I can only speak from the perspective that is my own.
When I fell pregnant I vowed to give up Christmas … well, not totally give it up but give it up in the sense that it is all about overindulging and overconsuming – polluting the environment, our bodies and our karma. From that very first Christmas, my husband and I calculated what a regular Christmas with food and gifts would cost, we took that money and went on a shopping spree at Makro (for those outside South Africa, this is a big ‘buy-bulk-and-save’ superstore) for party hats, crackers, snacks, sweets, cigarettes and liquor. We packed up 120 parcels of goods and early on Christmas morning drove around Cape Town handing out parcels to the homeless. This Christmas will be our 5th … and the 4th with our child.
Although children are young, they are impressionable and they take in everything in their environment (I know this mainly because of bugger being my child’s first word, followed by something along the lines of edible … and more recently a word that would prevent most people being able to launch this site at work) so I hope that this small act will have a huge impact on my child’s dealings with poverty in the future. We maintain the ‘lesson’ by buying footballs every month and he drives around with us while we hand them out to underprivileged children.
Everyone has a right to celebrate Christmas and every kid should have a ball.
If you want to teach your child the art of giving but you don’t have the time or inclination to do the above … because, let’s face it, not many people do (and that comes with no judgement) then there is a fabulous NPO I have just found out about called Kidz2Kidz. Getting involved requires a small effort and a lot of heart so please check out the website www.kidz2kidz.co.za pack your santa box and pass the info on to everyone you know who may have a little giving left over at Christmas time.
Email Irenè Pieters for further info.
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Tags: Blog action day 2008, charity, gifts, Poverty
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Monday, October 13th, 2008
I was accused recently of not knowing anything about bringing up kids … by my mother-in-law no less. I think this has less to do with my lack of knowledge than my lack of enthusiastically asking advice from her on a regular basis. I have had an affinity with children since I was one myself, I have worked with children and I have studied developmental psychology. Where there have been any gaps in my knowledge … and I freely admit there have been plenty … I have filled a lot at my child’s clinic – TLC in Hout Bay to be exact – where I have sponged up as much knowledge as possible while keeping my head down and pretending not to be a mum. The rest have been filled by the ubiquitous books on childcare as well as the wonderful world of the web which is, if not holistic, an informed substitute for the village all children – and parents – need to grow up healthy. My favourite website is Dr Greene the best book I have found is Steve Biddulph’s Raising Boys.
With the gift of all this access to information, you have the choice to read as little or as much into the advice given. You have to pick what suits you and stick to it because consistency is the master challenge. Gina Ford was invaluable when I had a baby but I am glad to be rid of her – she just proved to be too severe for an obsessive compulsive personality … but then that was my doing, not hers.
It’s got nothing to do with how much you know really – you can never know enough when it comes to raising kids – but how willing and able you are to look beyond the normal available channels for information and insight into this common yet mysterious dilemma we all face of how best to bring up baby.
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Tags: advice, Dr Greene, gina ford, perspective, Steve Biddulph, TLC clinic
Posted in bhalababy | 1 Comment »
Saturday, October 11th, 2008
My therapist once told me not to make my stuff anyone else’s problem. I might want to put it out there but that doesn’t mean anyone else wants to listen to it … and they definitely don’t want to deal with it. It apparently makes them feel awkward and uncomfortable. I do it anyway.
My glee is a product of having always been asked about the second child. If people want to procreate that’s their choice, but when they project that need onto me, I buy myself time with some hard truth: No more for me, my husband’s had the snip.
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Tags: choice, second child, snip, therapy, vasectomy
Posted in bhalababy | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
She tried to prove she could do it all while trying to be happy doing nothing at all.
During one of the postnatal depression periods following the birth … and close to a couple of years after the birth … I had a moment (perhaps several, if I am totally honest) of considering having another child. This was once I had quit my job to write, was still in therapy and felt – generally – rather useless. I felt that if I had one more and made my life pure hell, I would be busy enough to justify the existence I had chosen. I was feeling irrational at the time and had it not been for the fact that my coil (a.k.a. extreme body piercing) was dislodged and causing too much pain to have anything near to the kind of passionate encounter that might lead to more offspring, there might have been another ‘whoopsy’.
I like to think I graduated from therapy feeling like I can stand by my choices no matter how much I am trying to prove. I’ve done it all and had it all and I have tasted success, money, travel and more than my share of indulgence and extravagance. Life is short with so many pressures. I am ready to cut a small wedge out of my existence to dedicate this part of this life to love, nurture, respect, support and teach a boy who is destined for greatness.
I’m going to play my trump card – my card of excellence. Can there be any greater achievement?
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Tags: card of excellence, choices, Post Natal Depression, therapy
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Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Ok, so we all know my child was toilet trained by his first birthday … the whole of Cape Town seems to know and it has become urban legend. I was not trying to prove anything but purely exercising my need for self-preservation. I wanted to go the terry-cloth route but couldn’t cope with washing them (despite the Marigolds) … so I had to devise a plan. By ensuring all ‘pushing’ was done out of the nappy (something that took a fair amount of vigilance), poo nappies were practically eliminated by the time he was six months old. The rest came easy. He didn’t know any different – the toilet was always the place to do the business and there was no struggle associated with having to get him used to the toilet after years of feeling comfortable sitting in his own faeces (which, let’s face it, is just not right).
When I was pregnant I used to tease that I had a parasite … until I my ‘parasite’ actually got a parasite. He was nine months old and the culprit was Giardia. This karmic payback not only caused the filling of terry cloth and waterproof liner but also the spreading of said parasite-infested faeces down child’s trousers, out past the ankles, down my jeans, onto the car seat and baby seat … all while lifting my child out of the shopping trolley and into the car to go home. Eco or not, there was no salvaging that one – the child was stripped and hosed down in winter frost on the front lawn and the terrycloth nappy and liner were promptly disposed of.
The point that is becoming so hard to make here is that all those things usually associated with potty training that no one thinks has anything to do with anything else because everyone is brainwashed into believing that the only time one can potty train is after two and only once the child has indicated certain personality changes … have more to do with things that are going to happen anyway. Around the time that traditional potty training takes place, my child went through the hand washing, the need to watch the poo flush away, holding the poo in until it hurt etc. … yet he had already been out of nappies for over a year.
So does it not stand to reason that all the pressure parents put on themselves to look for cues and then try and get their kids trained is totally unnecessary as this is just part of the normal developmental stages?
Which leads me to the obvious conclusion that I am now confident that I did it the right way after all … despite all the critisicm and warnings that it just wasn’t normal and that I would find out later on when he regressed. He didn’t regress and happily uses the toilet by himself, even lifting the seat when he does so … and he is not yet three.
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Tags: Giardia, nappies, paranoid, parasite, potty training, terry cloth nappies, toilet training
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