It sounds surgical every time I say this, but I am separating from my husband. I often wish it were surgical as both the procedure and the recovery time would be shorter. Besides all the material I have on the subject which you will no doubt be subjected to at a later date, I have to mention that our child has not slept in his bed for a very long time. Now most often when couples allow their babies/toddlers/children to sleep in their beds I would profess to an unhealthy marriage and one that is most likely going to break up. But my child has been in his own room, in his own bed since the day we arrived home from hospital and has only slept with my husband and me since we have no longer been sleeping in the same room let alone the same bed. I can’t help but wonder that perhaps the child in the bed thing gets a bad rap. What if the child in the bed is only the scapegoat for a marriage that is on the rocks anyway? What came first: the broken relationship or the child in the bed?
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Indeed. And perhaps the two are totally unrelated. Kid in bed = about something going on with the kid, unless you’re dragging him into bed with you. Not about something going on with the marriage, which I guess would be going on anyway, whether kid’s in the bed or not. You can find time/place to have sex anywhere if you want it so I don’t buy the excuse that a kid in the bed makes you be able to avoid a sex life.
In any event, I am sorry to hear that you are separating. I wish it was easier. I can’t pretend to understand, so I will just say sorry.
Thanks for the support, Margot
I think what I was trying to say is that it is too easy to blame the child for getting between us when it was us who got between us. When a child comes along he shines a light on every flaw in a relationship and if you haven’t worked on your relationship before, this is the time to start. And if you don’t start then it’s time to end.