Posts Tagged ‘compromise’

 

Compromise … ?

Monday, August 8th, 2011

I dug out an old book review. The part that struck me was, “… her ultimate goal is to relay the message that compromise is crucial when it comes to matters of the heart.”
It seems that somewhere on my journey between Point A and Point B, I’ve decided that compromise is quite possibly the worst thing I could do. I can see how my journey has changed my perspective but it none-the-less sucks … my new point of view is somewhat more cynical than I would like.

Click on the link or read it below.
http://www.mmdnewswire.com/penelope-van-maasdyk-6821.html

(Also available on Kalahari: http://www.kalahari.com/books/Never-Go-Trekking/632/36672739.aspx)

New memoir chronicles one woman’s liberating and life-changing trek around the world

Author Penelope van Maasdyk shares her journey of self-discovery in never go trekking

CAPE TOWN, South Africa (MMD Newswire) January 27, 2010 — In never go trekking, author Penelope van Maasdyk reveals how she followed her heart and gave up everything to travel.

While working in London, van Maasdyk vowed she would only ever travel in style, until one day she felt she needed to try something different. However, that discovery came at a cost – to travel as extensively as she wanted to a part of the world that was completely unknown, not to mention dangerous given that her decision to travel came shortly after Sept. 11, she would have to quit a secure, well-paying job and take a huge leap of faith.

In doing so, van Maasdyk realized she wasn’t the person she thought she was, but rather she was “a frustrated hippie” who needed plenty of freedom and a lifestyle that came with never knowing where she would be sleeping from one night to the next. Van Maasdyk feels her travels changed the way she viewed herself as well as her relationship with her husband. The result of her journey was the creation of a whole new person, a person she liked a lot better than the London-living, capitalism-loving girl with a passion for shoes and a throwaway lifestyle.

Van Maasdyk intends for her memoir to be a quirky and brutally honest account of what was often a grueling journey. It will either inspire people to travel or make them want to stay home for good. While hoping to entertain readers, her ultimate goal is to relay the message that compromise is crucial when it comes to matters of the heart.

never go trekking is available for sale online at Amazon.com and through additional wholesale and retail channels worldwide.

About the Author
After working in various jobs within investment banking in London’s financial district, Penelope van Maasdyk gave up her London lifestyle to travel around Southeast Asia and eventually returned to her roots in South Africa. In addition to writing short stories, poetry and blogs about motherhood, van Maasdyk is involved with several volunteer projects within township schools in Cape Town – teaching literacy skills to Xhosa-speaking children as part of the SHINE Programme, facilitating the KARABO grief counseling program for young children, and participating in the Hero Book Project. She currently lives in Hout Bay with her husband and 4-year-old son.

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‘Mommy Dearest’

Friday, June 25th, 2010

“Just make the decision to stay, and that’s that!” she says through puckered lips. I always find it amazing how someone of five foot can look down her nose so effectively.

I am in Durban at the moment. I ran ‘home to mummy’ to escape the stress of a tricky separation. Most people who know the relationship I have with my mother think that decision justifies a few months in a mental institution … and I might just be heading that way. What I was hoping for, and what seemed a few weeks ago like a very real opportunity, was the chance of using a truly shitty situation to heal the extremely tense and volatile relationship I have with my family. My friends may have a point though. In only one day, she went from being supportive to self-righteous and I feel like being a rebellious teenager and shaving off my hair. My child is all for it. Of course my husband thinks it’s about him. But my mother is too wrapped up in the fact that another daughter (the third) is getting divorced that she doesn’t care about my motives; all the wants is for me to martyr myself rather than risk the shame this will bring upon her. After a few days I realised that she would rather just ignore it, choosing not to speak about it lest something is not about her.

My child has already picked up on the volatility of this relationship. He was playing in the bath with a water pistol and he sprayed the ceiling … and the curtains and the wall and the floor. He froze, looked at me with his huge blue eyes and asked, “Are you going to get into trouble now, Mum?” Perceptive.

But the fact that I have chosen to spend five weeks in a household I spent 19 years of my life trying to get out of and the next 19 years of my life trying to heal from gives you some indication how bad the alternative is right now.

You can have a mother but if she isn’t there for you emotionally, then you may as well not have one at all. And I suppose the same could apply to all your relationships.

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Lifestyle Choice

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

Never believe you can have it all ever again. From the moment you have a baby, there will be oh so many more choices to make and none of them involve choosing the best of everything.

Friends are the first to go … the non-parent friends, that is … and then the holidays … the ones that involve a ticket and a backpack and not much else … and the shopping trips that don’t include formula, toys and Steri-nappi.

I chose to keep the heels. Shopping one day for shoes, with a sleeping baby in a pouch on my chest, I tried on a wicked pair of heels and a pair of flats, trying to decide between the two. A ‘sister’ trying on shoes (out of my zone) caught my attention to offer a very unwelcome piece of advice: “You’ve got a small baby now; you’ll break your neck if you wear those heels.” I had deliberated long enough. “I’ll take them,” I said to the shop assistant … “actually I’ll take both, and I’ll wear this pair now”, I said defiantly pointing at the heels. I shot the turncoat a smug look as I strutted out of there, baby still deep asleep on my chest.

I now wear heels more often than I ever did before. There are some things I just can’t compromise on and there are some things that I just need to make a point about.

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The Anti-Mum

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

An avid campaigner against the need to have a child has reached a stage of her biology that she is battling to hold at bay. As the last of her peers to be childless, she feels her life is lacking something and that this indicates that she needs a baby.

Nobody needs a baby; most people just want one. It’s immaterial what your motives are for either wanting one or not but you have to be very clear on what you actually need.

Wanting a baby requires you to want it badly enough to compensate for the loss of freedom, mobility, travel, late-night parties and the halving of your relationships.

But when you choose the alternative, you have to be strong enough in the face of the social pressures, the emotional guilt and the need to know if it will ever be enough to not have one.

Having a baby is like upgrading or downgrading your neighbourhood … whichever way you choose to look at it. It’s a lifestyle choice. Take it or leave it but never feel it is so integral to life that you will feel incomplete without it.

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