My husband has been diagnosed as being a ‘good boy’, a man who does things to please others regardless of how these things impact on his own life. It took years of conditioning by his mother and needless to say we don’t discuss any of this at family dinners.

Anyway … having broken the cycle of my own dysfunctional family after 20 years of hard graft, I have unwittingly picked up the dysfunction of my husband’s kin. I have single-handedly and systematically been turning my child into a ‘good boy’.

The realisation came at cricket coaching when I noticed he was watching me to gage my reactions to every ball he bowled or hit. It was because I was in a bad mood and he was trying to cheer me up. Sweet, yes. But he took it on as his responsibility, which is way beyond what a four-year-old should be thinking about when engrossed in his passion for sport.

It’s not the first time he has done it but it is the first time I have identified it for what it is and the first time I am totally aware of its dangers and my need to change it (me) as soon as possible.