Add to The Rules, a baby monitor and a spiral staircase between parents and baby … The parents can hear every murmur, cry and scream in stereo, but the staircase and The Rules keep them in bed … it can just be too much effort getting up and down those stairs each time the baby cries when The Rules forbid any comfort or feeding – if you can’t touch the baby, why bother. So, the parents just lie in bed, stiff and helpless … not getting any sleep anyway.

The baby soon gets The Routine but the parents get so sleep deprived that a jury could quite possibly acquit them of murder.