Pseudonym or real name? … not important. These women brought me up unwittingly while paying me to help bring up their own children … when I was barely over being one myself.

Later when I was pondering the huge decision of whether or not to have a child, the first person I asked was one of the Janes. She never tried to convince me one way or the other, merely told me that having a child would allow me access to a different part of life – like studying part time or getting a new job or moving house or country. All these things have the same effect on your life: they make you adjust to something new.

The same Jane gave me some very useful ‘no nonsense’ tips on bringing up baby:

If you need to go to the toilet or have a shower, your child will survive your absence

A child can’t die from crying

A child will not starve itself … i.e. if it hasn’t drunk exactly 300mls of milk, it’s because it doesn’t need it

You can’t look after your child if you don’t look after yourself

Turns out she wasn’t much help once baby was born. Maybe she thought I was all grown up and ready to tackle life on my own finally.