I’m still listening to Gloria Gaynor … and smiling … and tapping my feet … and getting ready to kick off my shoes and dance on the bed. But first I need to finish this.
The diva is the new guru. And this particular one seems to have totally distracted me from my task … the one given to me by my healer who has insisted I follow on with all the contrasts I have been quoting. She looked at my ‘homework’ of a couple of months ago – the flashcards of negatives – and said, “OK, now you need to come up with a matching pair for each of these; something positive that counters each of the negatives.” I sighed and agreed, while crossing my fingers behind my back.
Thing is the concept, for me, is flawed. It would be like planting weeds where the flowers used to grow. Yes, for me and the purpose of this exercise, the weeds are the positives – they are the ones that grow unabated. The idea with the positive flashcards was, for her, so I could plant more flowers amongst the weeds, but she had forgotten that my balance comes in reverse and staring at the flowers too long caused the problems in the first place. The flowers provide the hope of beauty while the weeds provide the reality of imperfection … and excellent compost. Sometimes the best place for the flowers is in a vase.
Gardening analogies and divas … a contrast too far? Perhaps. The point is I’ve licked my wounds. It’s enough now. I’ve explored. I’ve delved. I’ve dug my hands deep into my grey matter. I’ve planted. I’ve pruned. I’ve watered the garden with my tears. I have become the river that flows through the garden … sometimes a trickle, sometimes a torrent but always fluid … watering both the flowers and the weeds, neglectful of neither, valuing each in its ability to provide balance and perspective – compost and beauty. I am moving through this.
The garden may never be done … but what’s the point of a big bed if you can’t jump on it. When I see my healer tomorrow, I will be sure to tell her that Gloria ate my homework.
